First of all: I think she mentioned she wanted to learn how to sing because she's always liked it but she wanted to "get better at it" or something? And something about being able to sing in ASMR videos (like a lullaby or something maybe?) Either that or I'm totally mandela effecting myself right now
Also speaking of mental health: It fucking sucks being as self critical as she is. As someone who's been very low mentally, I know how hard it can get. I never went to therapy, too autistic to actually take that step. But when things ended between me and my ex a few years ago I went into such an all-time low that I basically just wanted to disappear. I enjoyed nothing, thought about all my faults and things I could've done different, for literal months on end.
Eventually I just had enough. And this is what sucks about it because I can't really use this info to help anyone in a similar position, but for me it just kinda "clicked" one day.
I got tired of being sad, tired of feeling useless and feeling down. I basically just told myself "Fuck it, I don't wanna be sad anymore" and started trying to think differently on things. Sappy shit like "I'm only human" and "This is out of my control, so it's fine" and it unironically worked wonders. A few months or a year of that and I basically made a complete 180 turn. I'm in my late 20's with no job at the moment and I'm overweight, but I can honestly despite that say that I love myself for who I am and for where I am in life atm.
Are things great? Fuck no!
But they're far from bad, and that's what matters. I am my own worst enemy but also my own best friend. Sometimes life sucks, sometimes I still have bad days. But you know what? Life keeps going, I have friends and family who love me (and you guys!) and that's enough for me. No matter what you do, time keeps ticking, life keeps moving forward and the best you can do is just sit back and enjoy the ride.
Apologies for the wall of text, but since this is something I kinda resonate with I felt like I should share
I just hope Mai doesn't fall in too much of a lull and it affects her any more than it already has today