Mhmm, some very interesting posts in here and thank you all for being honest. I will share some of my own experiences and insights into what I've observed and learned over the years.
I myself was addicted to porn when I was a teenager. At 14 or 15 or whatever it was, I was jerking like 10 times a day or something. I cannot exactly remember why, but I think the dopamine hit and maybe boredom or something.
As I got older, this changed. I still watch porn and still jerk off, but not as often as before. I didn't have to do any of the nofap nonsense that seems to be elevated to some sort of religion or general explanation of success, which couldn't be farther from the truth IMHO.
I had a terrible relationship with women in general when I was younger, and luckily this has somewhat changed. I think a lot of guys go through this, simply because of feminist/blue pill programming that is spoon fed to us from a young age. And I only learned much, much later in life what it took to get women's attention.
Books like Rollo Tomassi's Rational Male series challenged my inner blue pill programming and that was the thing that really got me going in the right direction. I highly recommend watching a YouTube channel called PsycHacks, ran by Psychologist Dr. Orion Taraban who makes very good videos about topics that are related to what we're talking about.
Some of Patrice O'Neil's stuff on the Opi & Anthony show (archive on YouTube) is also very good.
I will move on to some other things that are important to mention. I noticed in my own life with my own friends and acquaintances that they would stop watching porn when they got a girlfriend that had (good) (amounts) of sex with them. I talked with some of them about really private things and I was lucky to have some honest friends that wouldn't snitch on me or tell everyone else.
It is my belief that as long as men have women in their lives that have enough, good/crazy sex with them, the guys will not cheat, nor do they watch porn.
However I know that there are plenty of couples that barely have any sex, or good sex to begin with. You should strife to not end up in one of those "coping" relationships. You need to get yourself a girl that is absolutely crazy in love with you, as the rule of thumb is, that a women will do anything to keep you as long as you are an alpha/winner in her mind.
This is where it gets interesting with this nofap horseshit, which has almost never been explained properly by anyone I have ever seen attempt to do so.
There are those who claim that abstaining and not watching porn is some sort of hidden puzzle piece to leading a happy, successful life.
In my opinion, this is absolute horseshit, with some caveats. Example: In order to be rich, you have to be greedy. Your greed will make you re-arrange everything in your life to satisfy this greedy impulse. No fap or whatever has absolutely nothing to do with this.
You have to use your sexual desire in the right way, at the right moment. The problem is that when men relief themselves off of this sexual desire with self pleasure, there is no more need to go out and get some.
All men, me included, are to some extend afraid of women and afraid of rejection (or weird framing/filming/TikTok shit nowadays), which to some extend is actually valid.
However, you shouldn't focus on all the problems and barriers that get in the way of getting what you want. That is the dumbest and least productive thing you can do.
You should instead focus on the things that you CAN do and the possibilities you DO have to make things work.
And one of the realities is, is that when you were younger, you most likely got in to trouble or beta/simping shit because of your horny mindset. I certainly did.
Now that you are older, you have a little more control over your emotions and you can actually use this horny mindset IN YOUR FAVOR!!!
Think of the fear you have of women/rejection as a mountain you're trying to climb. Under normal circumstances you can get pretty far, let's say 80% of the way. However, at the last moment, right before your ascend to the peak, fear kicks in and you become to chickenshit to ask her out or get her to suck your dick.
This is the moment where your horny mindset has to help you. Let it help you. You have to envision this horny mindset as like a wild, energetic stallion that can take you to some crazy places (and trouble, certainly it did when I was younger).
Instead of sitting on that stallion and letting IT decide where it takes you, with your addiction for example, you need to gain control over this horse and tell that thing where to take you.
You should no fap for a limited amount of time until you have built up the right amount of sexual desire inside yourself so that you become a little bit despirate or whatever you want to call it. You should really, really want to relief yourself off of this pressure, and THEN go out and talk to the chicks.
You will climb that same mountain, but this time, your horniness kicks in, that same powerfull stallion that got you in a lot of trouble when you were younger needs to be utilized. Let that thing "carry" you to and over that mountain top. Let that powerfull emotion take control for a short period of time so that you can ask her out/ask for her number/whatever. Let that emotion overcome your fears and it will happen. I promise you. You will have done it and you will sense a kind of euphoria if you will, regardless if she rejected your offer or not. That exitement is you overcoming your fears. The more you do it, the better you become at it, and the more the realize you don't have to be so scared of women. Most women are more afraid of you then vice versa, on top of that, most of them forget about rejecting you 10 minutes later.
It is *you* that carries that haunting memory for 10 YEARS later, eventhough she forgot about it 10 MINUTES later.
Forgive yourself for watching porn, as sex is completely natural for men. You don't have a GF/Wife or good sex, so you're just trying to deal with something that you have inherited through evolution. You cannot take or shove that away, you have to learn to live with it and make the best of it. It can actually be very useful under the right circumstances. Do not ever feel ashamed for being a man or for desiring sex, no matter how much the blue pillers/feminists will try to make you feel like shit. I am very sure a lot of men would love to just have a button to "turn it off" and not think about sex, but it is the way it is.
You are much, much more valuable then the world around you makes you belief, that is what I have learned over the last couple years. Everyone is shitposting on social media how "great" their lives are, while constantly trying to put and keep people down.
You have so much potential and so much to give to this world, do not give these idiots the pleasure of taking that away from you.
Do not ever feel ashamed for seeking (professional) help, as some issues are to big to solve in one go. A race is not won by making one giant step, but by taking multiple steps, one step at a time.
Take care and may you all find happyness in life.