I have a theory of what's happening. When she had her previous (serious) boyfriend, the one from high school, he was just an average guy, it was easy to keep him in the shadows. Probably didn't have a very eventful life with him.
Fast-forward to now when she got a new boyfriend and since keeping her boyfriend secret worked out for her she is trying to do the same with the ratman, same methods, same lies.
Just there is a little problem, the ratman isn't an average guy, can't keep a guy in shadows who knows a bunch of streamers/content creators and invited to their parties; owns a site that present and/or sponsors public events.
It's easy to keep a boyfriend secret when all you do together is to go grocery shopping but when you go to almost every adult expo and a party every week, it's impossible.